Potential Expats have little knowledge of the country they aim to make their own for a little while

Potential Expats are clueless about India, read the following and understand why...the humorous way

The answers are the actual responses to the questions on the website posed by firangis who are planning a visit to India.

I personally liked the last one

Q: Does it ever get windy in India ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa - can I follow the railroad tracks (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only three thousand kms, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India ? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India ? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi , Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore ? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India ? (USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. ...... Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa . Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in India ? ( USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into India ? ( UK )

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? ( France )

A: Indiana is a state in the Unites States of...oh forget it. Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tuesday night in Goa , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in India ? ( UK )

A: You're a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore , and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: Do you have perfume in India ? ( France )

A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

Q: Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? ( Italy )

A: As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime.

Q: Do you have Toilet paper? ( USA )

A: No, we use sand paper. (we have different grades)

Expat Experiences

Rivan Sanzilay, has been in Mumbai,India for more than a year yet she finds herself being stared at to the point where she feels a faint twinge of fear. It wasn;t that way when she first landed in Mumbai. The crowds were enormous( at least to her), the throng of people overwhelming and the smells assailing! It was an experience that the faint hearted might have found difficult to cope with.but cope she did. A year down the line, she still feels disoriented by the throng of humanity but she's learnt to deal with it. It no longer affects her as intensely as it used to before. But the fear remains.Stories of foreigners being raped in Goa and Delhi have made her wary. Though she doesn't seek out the protection of the expat crowd, she does have some friends among them nevertheless. But most of her friends are true-blue Indians and she has learnt to mingle freely among them. Of course, Language in India is not much of a problem. English is universally used unlike China where it's even difficult to find someone to converse with in the international toungue. rivan is beginning to get the hang of life in Mumbai. She enjoys herself over the weekends with her husband and friends while during the week she is busy tending to her upcoming tourism business. She has to survive here, it's an expensive city afterall especially for foreigners. She gets incensed easily at the prices quoted when she goes to buy stuff from the market so now she's decided to let her bai(maid) do the purchasing. At least she wont get fleeced that way! The only places she finds foreigners getting reverential treatment are restaurants, pubs and other entertainment joints. t disheartens her to see people being treated unequal, and she realises that even market driven societies have class barriers. Something that might not have come to light in a non-asian country!

As told to Johnson Thomas

Expat Expert Robin Pascoe in conversation with Johnson Thomas

A writer, journalist and publisher who has authored three widely read books on Expat issues, Robin Pascoe shares her unique gyaan on problems of relocation with Johnson Thomas.

Why Expats? Don't human beings all over the world suffer from similar problems?
As an expat myself, I had inside knowledge of what went on in the minds of expats. Their problems are no different from others but the feeling of being an alien, the fear, the trepidation and the vulnerability of being in a new place and almost having to start from scratch are unique to Expats.
What do you talk about?
I talk to them about the challenges of being an Expat. The women want to feel validated that their challenges are real because they may have a husband who tells them that they are making it all up. The children need to understand that if Dad's traveling a lot, he's not traveling on purpose.
What difficulties do Expat kids face...?
Kids have identity issues about where they are from, especially when their families move around a lot. If you ask these third culture nomads where they are from, they havn't a clue.
But aren't Expat communities too small in number?
For the past ten years Expat communities have been growing at a faster pace and increasing hugely in numbers. India has a huge base of 50,000 Expats living in the country on work, while there are larger communities of Expats of Indian origin living and working all over the world. The numbers are increasing.
How do you plan to reach out to Expat communities in India?
Well, primarily my task here is to speak to the staff of multinational corporations and their families. I also have a few company lectures lined-up and then I'll be visiting the International schools and the women's clubs in the city.

Don’t Expat communities come from different cultures and communities?
Everywhere I have gone I have expected things to be different but they are not. Cases vary. One Expat spoke about moving to Europe a few months ago for a once-in-a-lifetime job, her partner agreed...yet once they got there, there were problems aplenty. A third culture kid who spent his life in Papua New Guinea, China, the US and the Middle East, had spent the least time in the country of his birth, New Zealand. Then he had to go to New Zealand on work and it turned out to be his most difficult posting. I get asked the same questions wherever I go. I generally focus on the internals- things that no one wants to think about. It's all about providing emotional support to those distressed by relocation.

Are they receptive to you?
Oh Yeah! When I talk about parenting everybody's ears are wide open because it's easier to talk about your kids. But when I talk about marriage , it's a tad more difficult to break the ice. They want to talk about their marriage but because the Expat communities are small, they can't be seen talking openly about marriage …

Don't Expat communities lead a very nomadic exixtence?
There is a 25% turnover in Expat communities at any given time. The community is constantly changing. I talk to the Expats trying to prepare them to go home(wherever that may be)-'They all have to go home one day,' I say…

Is that such a major problem?
In fact repatriation is one of the biggest problems faced by Expat communities. It is the most overlooked dimension of culture shock. People do not like to think about it. They think it will be fine but it's not. They become strangers in their own country and that causes a great deal of distress.


Traveling spouses, international Human Resource practitioners, relocation specialists, and international school communities worldwide applaud Robin Pascoe’s pragmatic but sensitive approach to the joys and challenges of families and global relocation. Robin , an Expat herself, is a writer, journalist and publisher who has authored five widely read books on Expat issues and is today reckoned as ‘The Expat Expert’. She has also been interviewed in numerous international publications including The Washington Post, The New York Times, The International Herald Tribune, Working Mother Magazine, Utne Reader, CNN, and others.
In this interview she shares her unique gyaan on problems of relocation. In conversation with Johnson Thomas.



Why specialize in Expats alone? Don’t human beings all over the world suffer from similar problems?
As a writer, journalist and publisher, an expat myself, I had inside knowledge of what went on in the minds of expats. Their problems are no different from others but the feeling of being an alien, the fear, the trepidation and the vulnerability of being in a new place and almost having to start from scratch is what Expats and their families experience when they have to leave their own familiar set-ups and go abroad for work.
My website went up about ten years ago. It was something new, nobody had that kind of help available online so that’s how I became the expat expert. I had also written two books previous to that. It all just seemed to happen overnight. The books kept coming, My website got a lot of response and companies like Santa Fe did well to promote the whole concept. My speaking tours around the world have been a great success. I go speak to International schools, women’s clubs, human resource people and Expat families all over the world.

What do you talk about?
I try to talk to them about the challenges of being an Expat. Specific challenges that Expat communities face when relocating to a new country or place. The women want to feel validated that their challenges are real because they may have a husband who tells them that they are making it all up. The children need to understand that if Dad’s traveling a lot, he’s not traveling on purpose. This is business.

What difficulties do Expat kids face...?
Kids have identity issues about where they are from, especially when their families move around a lot. If you ask these third culture nomads where they are from, they havn’t a clue. So I talk to the kids about their identity issues and to the parents about the challenges of dealing with these issues. The families are what I call silent partners in the relocation. They usually do not have any choice in the relocation. I also speak to corporations and urge them to pay more attention to the family side. If the families don’t go then the corporations will find it difficult to retain talent and this would in turn affect their business. I also speak to the Embassy staff in different Foreign Ministries. Any corporation or organization sending people to a foreign country on assignment, I go in there and speak to them about what needs to be done to strengthen family relationships, helping them cater to their specific needs in order that the assignment may be successful.

Who is a third culture kid?
The research for third culture kids began in India about ten years ago initiated by the US embassy. Third culture kid is defined as someone who has spent a significant amount of their developmental years in a culture outside their parent/passport culture. A global nomad is someone who has moved because of a Parent’s occupational choice. So Expatriates have problems that are magnified because they have lost everything that is familiar to them.

But aren’t Expat communities too small in number?
For the past ten years Expat communities have been growing at a faster pace and increasing hugely in numbers. India has a huge base of 50,000 Expats living in the country on work, while there are large communities of Expats of Indian origin living and working all over the world. The numbers are increasing as economies blend into one another and opportunities increase. Globalisation has made it much easier for people from one country to find work in another and vice versa.

So are you going to be speaking to the Expat communities living in India? How do you plan to reach out to them?
Well, primarily my task here is to speak to the staff of multinational corporations and their families. The Expat’s more or less have affiliations to multinational corporations. I also have a few company lectures lined-up and then I’ll be visiting the International schools and the women’s clubs in the city to talk to the Expat families. Over the years I have received many feelers from these communities for such interactions through my website and this visit fulfills that obligation.

Expat communities come from different cultures and communities? How do you tackle this anomaly while addressing their issues?

Everywhere I have gone I have expected things to be different but they are not. Cases vary. One Expat spoke about moving to Europe a few months ago for a once-in-a-lifetime job, her partner agreed that it was just too good an opportunity to refuse, so he happily supported the move. And went along. They talked long and hard about what options there might be...yet once they got there, there were problems aplenty. A third culture kid who spent his life in Papua New Guinea, China, the US and the Middle East, had spent the least time in the country of his birth, New Zealand. Then he had to go to New Zealand on work and it turned out to be his most difficult posting. Another Expat, an accompanying spouse who moved to Sri Lanka with her husband three months ago had to relocate again because of company restructuring. It was the most trying period of her young life. The problems are universal no matter which country I visit, the climates may be different and the solutions for each situation may differ but by and large the problems are generally the same. I get asked the same questions wherever I go. I generally focus on the internals- things that no one wants to think about. It’s all about providing emotional support to those distressed by relocation.

Are they receptive to you?
Oh Yeah! Depending on the communities. When I talk about parenting everybody’s ears are wide open. They want to know everything they can get because it’s easier to talk about your kids. But when I talk about marriage , it’s a tad more difficult to break the ice. They want to talk about their marriage but because the Expat communities are small, they can’t be seen talking openly about marriage …It would seem like their marriage was in trouble and everybody would know about it.

Don’t Expat communities lead a very nomadic exixtence?
There is a 25% turnover in Expat communities at any given time. The community is constantly changing. New faces come in while the old move to new destinations. I talk to the Expats trying to prepare them to go home(wherever that may be)-‘They all have to go home one day,’ I say…

Is that such a major problem?
In fact repatriation is one of the biggest problems faced by Expat communities. It is the most overlooked dimension of culture shock. Re-enter shock happens when going back into your own culture. People do not like to think about it. They think it will be fine but it’s not. They become strangers in their own country and that causes a great deal of distress.

Isn’t this a more recent problem?
No . it’s always been that way. In the earlier times people went home by boat which took anywhere from a month to three or even six months of travel. They had enough time to process the changes and so the shock at re-entering their formerly familiar culture zones were not as much as it is today in the jet age-where everything happens in a matter of hours. Of course the problem is even greater today. Expats who left their countries years ago find the changes on return too overwhelming to deal with and therefore flounder emotionally. I sometimes think of myself as a validator and facilitator giving them an opportunity to express their distress and come to terms with the changes.

Johnson Thomas

Books authored by Robin Pascoe

Raising Global Nomads: Parenting Abroad in an On-Demand World
A Movable Marriage: Relocate Your Relationship without Breaking It
Homeward Bound:A Spouse’s Guide to Repatriation